Instant Karma

ON THE JOB-ELECT: DAY ONE

First day on the job and president-elect Obama gets a call that Iraqi president Malachi is hopeful that he can work out a plan with the new administration that he couldn’t work out with the current administration. Wow! 

PALIN PALES

Mouthy mama Sarah finds her tongue released from RNC tethers and graces the press with a spew of random thoughts. If she wasn’t so full of hate, so full of herself, if I wasn’t prone to believe that she really didn’t know that Africa was a continent or that the three North American countries were the handshakers in the NAFTA, I would almost, almost feel sorry for her. 

The RNC machine of evil is busy cranking out accusations and mud in Palin’s general direction. It kind of feels like this: You know when some slimy guy is going out with a lovely girl; and some nasty girl is going out with a wonderful guy. Life seems so unfair. Then one day, the two couples break up and suddenly slimy and nasty get together. And you think, “First choice, they’d stop being horrible people; but choice #2, at least their evil energy is directed at one another and not hurting innocent, nice people anymore.” Palin and the RNC. Kinda like that.

Rachel Maddow reports:

President Obama’s acceptance speech, Part 1

What a proud moment. What a proud day! I am so proud of America!!

Barack Obama on the Daily Show

Dear Red State cousins…

A spam e-mail I open is rare. One I start reading…and finish, is almost unheard of. And one that I loved and wanted – no, needed – to share. Well, here is that one:

Dear Red States Cousins:

We’ve decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own country, Nuevo
California, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. Bye.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get
stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty and
Hollywood. You get Dollywood and Branson.  We get Intel and Microsoft. You
get WorldCom. We get Harvard.  You get Ole’ Miss. We get 85 percent of
America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get
two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair
share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. Please be aware
that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’re going to
want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight,
ask your KKK members, your evangelicals and your hockey moms.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the
country’s fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92
percent of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95 percent of America’s quality wines
(you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90
percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all
living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools
plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you
will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their
projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100
percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all
Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush
Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We
get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that
evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and
61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals
than we lefties.

Finally, we’re taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they
grow in Mexico.

Peace out,

Blue States

Poll numbers: Obama 351; McCain 187

Fivethirtyeight.com says:

“John McCain is making no progress in his pursuit of the White House. Our model now projects Barack Obama to win 351 electoral votes to John McCain’s 187, and to win the Electoral College 96.7 percent of the time to McCain’s 3.3 percent. Both numbers are unchanged from yesterday.”

READ MORE HERE AND SEE THE PIE CHARTS

Palin’s pompous, pathetic pontification

Christopher Hitches reports on “Sarah Palin’s War on Science” in a Slate.com article:

“This is what the Republican Party has done to us this year: It has placed within reach of the Oval Office a woman who is a religious fanatic and a proud, boastful ignoramus. Those who despise science and learning are not anti-elitist. They are morally and intellectually slothful people who are secretly envious of the educated and the cultured. And those who prate of spiritual warfare and demons are not just “people of faith” but theocratic bullies. On Nov. 4, anyone who cares for the Constitution has a clear duty to repudiate this wickedness and stupidity.”

READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE HERE

What’s Obama going to do and how is he going to do it?

Anchorage Daily News: Obama for president

Next endorsement up. The Anchorage Daily News casts its vote for Hawaiian son, stating, “Palin’s rise captivates us, but nation needs a steady hand.”

READ THE ENDORSEMENT HERE

Barack Obama interview with TIME Mag’s Joe Klein

Joe Klein has been one of my favorite opinion writers/political analysts for a long time. Now, with behind-the-scene photos by Callie Shell, TIME Magazine offers a glimpse of an extraordinary candidate on the campaign trail.

SEE IT HERE

John McCain and Sarah Palin interview with Brian Williams

She blinked. He winced. But don’t take my word for it…